kick me
Sunday, Jul. 31, 2005 at 1:23 a.m.
ok i admit it. It does cause me pain. Life was supposed to be this way. I KNEW it. I couldn't make the cut. I wasn't able to reach it. I've already anticipated this. Wait, that's what Mr Loh told us to do. Hm...i guess chem can really apply to my life. Sure my studies may be ok, but my social and personal life is totally screwed. I'm such a failure at life. Stupid stupid. I wonder what other word can replace stupid. I don't want to write down why I'm saying this. It's so painful to even think about it. There is no outlet for my feelings anymore. Can't say everything out to anyone anymore, except GOD. And sometimes it's much more drastic than that. My stupid past and present is conflicting. No one must know what has happened. See I want to pour everything out and yet I can't. Damned life, so complicated. I'm going to grow up to be senile and cynical and jaded.
I'm so unreal. Plastic. Tacky.
ooohh...I so cannot wait for church. Yeah right! We have this new way of doing things in church and I'm NOT so into it. Really. I sorta like the old way.
What's wrong with me. I'm not amiable anymore. I've lost all socialbility. Is there even such a word. I'm such a LOSER!!!!!
*sigh*...ppl should come with a warranty that lasts forever. So that I can repair myself. :(